Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
