Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
