you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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