just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize