We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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