dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
