Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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accomplished twins. life is a go
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
