If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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