I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
