**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
