dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
