talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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