took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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