great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
