We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Duck Duck Cougar?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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