And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
