Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
