I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
