She is in my trunk
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
