I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
im holly from the hills drunk
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
