i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
how drunk are you?
Several
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
