Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
