I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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