Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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