so explain again why im purple
no
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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