The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
