He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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