I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We have started to decorate penises.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
