mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
