We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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