i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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