There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
