The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
