I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
