Farmville is her only friend.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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