I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
