For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
