Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
