just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
