you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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