She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
