Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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