Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
