do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
