i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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