I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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