I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We need a shit load of segways right now
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
