Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
