Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just found puke in my bra..
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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