I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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