Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You don't make any sense
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